“The human heart cries out for help; the human soul implores us for deliverance; but we do not heed their cries, for we neither hear nor understand “ – Khalil Gibran
People often talk about changing themselves, whether just some minor aspect, a habit, an annoying trait, a particular behaviour, or even a complete revamping of their entire personality and approach to living.
But most people who care enough to actually make the effort to change, do so without a proper appreciation of exactly how they are going to do this, and how to handle the type of complications that will inevitably confront them in the process.
Wanting to change is a good thing, it’s just not at all easy.
At a very basic level, one of the first complications that arises involves a confusion of what it even means to change. After all, the act of changing seems rather easy. The general formula goes something like this: I don’t like how I am feeling, so I will do something, or perhaps stop doing something, to either feel better, or to get rid of that feeling.
Accordingly, when people decide to make changes in their lives they might take a vacation, decide to stop drinking alcohol or taking drugs, or perhaps seek new relationships. Conversely, they might start taking drugs, or perhaps increase their drinking, maybe bury their head in work or even cut themselves off from their relationships.
So, in general, they might try any one of several different avenues in an effort to create differences, with the ultimate goal of either making themselves feel better, or at least not feel like this.
This is not surprising, and factually speaking, any of these actions will create changes. Each of these activities, or combinations of them, is quite likely to produce change, not only in how I think and feel about myself, but also in how I feel about the people I have relationships with, and even in how I perceive the world I live in.
Occasionally, these actions do provide relief from pain and distress. But often this relief is only temporary. And sometimes it not only ends up prolonging the problem and increasing the pain, occasionally it makes the whole situation worse.
Furthermore, these are the easy ways, the superficial ways. Whether we realize it or not, we choose these options because they are presented to us by the society in which we live as the most effective options. Indeed, most people at one point or another have tried them.
So, if not this type of change, then what am I referring to? If I am not talking about change by putting something into my body, or looking to the outside world or someone else to solve my problem then what?
My primary interest and therapeutic approach concerns itself with the issue of change at the fundamental level of the very nature of our “self”. In many ways it is an inquiry, a deep exploration of what it even means to be “me”. This work utilizes our highest development capacity of awareness as the vehicle for the change process. It is with awareness that I can come to see my own identity, how it is constructed, and the absolutely incredible number of ways my own consciousness works of to maintain and protect my “stable self” even when it doesn’t seem to be working.
This approach is directed towards, and concerned with learning how to nurture our emotional, psychological, and spiritual development; our evolution. The type of change process I am referring to involves much more than a mood alteration, or to making modifications to my external world
It is an approach designed to effect not only a change for myself, but to potentially become a positive and constructive force for others and for the world around us.
There is nothing simple or easy about this process. And for many, the fact that work is required is enough to deter them from beginning it precisely because they’re looking for a simpler and easier way. More significantly I believe the reason more people are not considering this way of changing is because they don’t understand what it is, or that it even exists as a possibility.
It is not for everyone. Every person I see has their own unique challenges and tasks. And some seem to be more prepared than others to do this type of work. But there certainly is a path, and this level of change is possible.
Contact me if you are interested in finding out more.